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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 22:36, 23 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Happy to review this article.

• Consider unlinking plural (common word).
• Sasanian conquest of Egypt – a date added here would be useful.
• The lead section does not really cover the main points of the article properly, and could do with being expanded to two paragraphs. See MOS:LEAD for guidance here.

• It would be appropriate for the English version of the map to be included here, instead of the one show, which is in Latin.
• The family's origin – as this text marks the start of the article, I would amend this to something like ‘The origin of the Apion family’.
• some time is redundant and can be removed.
• add a comma after belonged to the family.
• His father, Flavianus, had doesn’t require commas.
• I would give the dates for the Anastasian War, as readers may not be familiar with it
• The sentence beginning He was responsible for provisioning is too long, and requires splitting. The three citations at the end of the first paragraph may need to be moved accordingly.
• a relatively obscure figure – why relatively? I would simply say ‘an obscure figure’.
• Are all 4 citations needed at the end of the 2nd paragraph? Ref 12 (Hickey) seems adequate.
• Is there a date for the reconstruction of the Hagia Sophia?
• ca. 548–550 – I usually try to use {{circa}}. Also, it’s not clear if you mean he was appointed from c. 548 until 550, or he was appointed in around 548/550, or something else.
• other Apiones – ‘other members of the Apion family’ sounds better imo.
• died in 578/9 – in c. 578? Or in 578 or 579?
• by an undetermined number of mostly unnamed heirs for eight years – consider simplifying the prose here, to something like ‘for eight years by unnamed heirs’.
• three principal heirs emerge by name sounds strange – ‘there were three main heirs’?
• he and his family disappear – presumably ‘he and his family disappear from the records’?
• The Apion household continues to be in evidence under the Persian occupation, at least until August 626, but is no longer mentioned thereafter. - Consider improving the prose to something like ‘There is evidence that the Apion household existed under the Persian occupation until August 626, but not after this date.’

• Link contiguous (Geographic contiguity); Gothic.
• The family originally belonged – ‘The Apion family originally belonged’ sounds better at the start of a section.
• 75,000 acres – use {{convert|75000|acres}}.
• E.R. Hardy – I would his full name here, Edward Rochie Hardy.
• Who is J. Gascou?
• The papyri also make clear – it needs to be clear which papyri are being referred to here.
• J.K. Keenan (named as James K. Keenan in the References/Sources sections) needs introducing here.

More comments to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:44, 26 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

• Ref 11 (Hickey) needs a pp. (not GA)

• I would unlink Atiya, Aziz Suryal in Frend. (not GA)

• Sarris has a url here.(not GA)

I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 4 December to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:51, 26 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review @Amitchell125. I'll make the changes in the next few days! GuardianH (talk) 00:48, 27 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]