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Nominator: History6042 (talk · contribs) 02:19, 27 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 14:48, 27 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Hi History6042, I appreciate your work on this article so far, it is definitely a good start. That said, I just don't think it is up to the usual quality that I expect for a GA nom. Here are a few of my thoughts:

• Your references aren't consistently formatted or filled out fully:
  • Ref 4 needs the author
  • Ref 2 has an incorrect title
  • Ref 6, we need the start of the article and an appropriate title
  • Ref 4 should probably list "Green Bay Packers" as the work, instead of www.packers.com, to match how you other sources are
• The article isn't broad in coverage, as there are a lot of details of his life missing. Just some cursory review of some sources I have on hand show that. Do you have access to Newspapers.com?
• The last section of the article, you have four inline citations just right at the end of the paragraph, instead of to the specific sentence.
• You're missing a lot of standard linking I would expect (Green Bay, Green Bay Packers (in the body of the article), the Red Arrow division is 32nd Infantry Division (United States), etc)
• The prose is choppy and needs a good copyedit
  • Example: During World War I, he served overseas in World War I duplicating World War I
  • Example: The game was played on December 5, 1920 and attracted 5,000 spectators and raised $4,053.02 that went to him. two "ands"

Please feel free to take some more time and work on it, and then renominate if you would like. Good luck! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 14:48, 27 February 2025 (UTC)[reply]