Good articleCyclone Anne has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
July 26, 2013Good article nomineeListed
May 27, 2015Featured article candidateNot promoted
Current status: Good article

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Cyclone Anne/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 03:23, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Severe Tropical Cyclone Anne was one of the most intense and damaging tropical cyclones within the South Pacific basin during the 1980s" - source?
  • "The cyclone was first noted on January 5, 1988 as weak tropical depression to the northeast of Tuvalu, in conjunction with what was to become Typhoon Roy within the North-Western Pacific basin." - first, missing "a" after "as", and I'd say "tandem" instead of "conjunction", personally.
  • "after it had become a tropical cyclone" - I'd link, or specify here, what "tropical cyclone" means. Maybe make it a note, saying that "tropical cyclone" is a cyclone with winds of X mph (forget what it is) in all quadrants.
  • "before it became the fourth major tropical cyclone to affect Vanuatu, within four years on January 10" - why the comma?
  • "for severe and/or extensive damage" - the "and/or" seems inappropriate, IMO.
  • "Within Temotu Province there was no official quantitative damage assessment and prompt relief measures, were not carried out due to the lack of boats or aircraft and the remoteness of the islands." - the misplaced comma notwithstanding, this seems like it should be two separate sentences (although, the second bit seems too trivial to be in the lede).
  • "with severe damage recorded on the islands of Ureparapara and the Torres Islands, while extensive damage was recorded on the islands of Vanua Lava and Gaua" - what's the difference between extensive and severe damage?
  • " the Fiji Meteorological Service's Nadi Tropical Cyclone Warning Center" - that's a bit much to read right off the bat of the MH. Why not say just "the Fiji Meteorological Service"? Put a note in if you want to indicate that it's a TCWC. For AHS articles, I only put in "NHC" (sometimes forgetting to explain the acronym).
  • "as it was steered towards the south — southwest" - south-southwest? It doesn't need the endash or space. Ditto later with "north — northwest".
  • "During that day clouds associated with the cyclone started to organize further before TCWC Nadi reported early on January 8, that the system had developed into a tropical cyclone and named it Anne, while it was equivalent to a modern day category 2 tropical cyclone on the Australian tropical cyclone intensity scale" - way too long. I'd say "Organizing further, TCWC Nadi upgraded the cyclone to a tropical cyclone and named it Anne, which is the equivalent..."
  • "to move south-westwards " - drop the s
  • "the cyclone's forward speed increased before it started to rapidly intensify" - this implies that the forward speed rapidly intensified
  • "Later that day, TCWC Nadi reported that the system had become equivalent to a category 3 severe tropical cyclone on the Australian Scale, before at around 00:00 UTC the next day, Anne passed through Temotu Province and passed about 55 km (35 mi) to the northwest of Anuta Island" - split into two sentences.
  • "Fortunately for the rest of Vanuatu" - don't used biased language like this.
  • Be consistent how you address UTC. You do "0600 UTC" and you also do "00:00 UTC"
  • "Later that day at 0600 UTC, TCWC Port Moresby reported that Tropical Cyclone Agi had developed near the Louisiade Archipelago about 1,200 km (750 mi) to the northwest of Cyclone Anne which subsequently turned and started to move towards the south towards New Caledonia" - add a comma somewhere.
  • "windshear" - two words
  • "Late on January 12, TCWC Nadi reported that Anne had weakened into a modern day category 2 tropical cyclone" - this is a general piece of criticism for the article, but you don't have to say "TCWC Nadi reported" every time. Since they are the official warning agency, you can just say "Anne weakened into a modern..."
  • "After the cyclone had re-emerged into the Coral Sea, the JTWC reported that Anne had weakened further and had become equivalent to a tropical storm as the system moved southwards." - few things. The storm had already turned to the south at this point (you already said it), and "become equivalent snore..." I'd switch to say "the JTWC downgraded Anne to a tropical storm."
  • "towards the "relatively deeper" Anne" - why not say stronger, so you can remove the quotes?
  • "Cyclone Anne affected and caused damage" - obviously if it caused damage, it affected, so I'd get rid of "affected"
  • Three paragraphs in a row in "Preparations and impact" start with "Cyclone Anne". Please change at least one of them. (also, the first two start with "Cyclone Anne affected")
  • "Cyclone Anne affected the Solomon Island province of Temotu between January 9–10, with 10-minute sustained windspeeds of up to 150 km/h (95 mph)" - was 150 km/h its intensity or how strong the winds were there?
  • "However the cyclones center" - make it singular
  • "with the smaller islands, fortunate to escape the destructive hurricane force winds" - comma?
  • "As Anne was moved through the islands" - rm "was"
  • "There were no reports of any casualties" - not sure what this is in reference to (since it contradicts another part), but we generally don't indicate when something doesn't happen. The storm also didn't gain sentience and create a Wikipedia account.
  • "There was no official quantitative assessment and prompt relief measures were not carried out due to the lack of boats or aircraft and the remoteness of the islands" - I get what you're saying, but it could really be written/organized better.
  • "after Severe Tropical Cyclone's Eric, Nigel and Uma had all affected the island nation" - get rid of everything after Uma.
  • "and came to within 65 km" - get rid of "to"
  • "Within Vanuatu there were no reports of any casualties or fatalities while wind gusts of up to 225 km/h (140 mph), torrential rains, flooding and storm surge caused damage to houses, crops, and property while triggering a landslide on the island of Epi" - again, cut the mention of casualties. The rest is decent, but could perhaps be re-organized.
  • "The hardest hit area was the Torba Province" - don't think "the" is needed before Torba.
  • " with severe damage recorded on the islands of Ureparapara and the Torres Islands, while extensive damage was recorded on the islands of Vanua Lava and Gaua" - again, what's the difference between severe and extensive?
  • "verall approximately 1600 people were made homeless and a further 1600 were badly affected by the Cyclone." - this writing is awful close to the original source (watch for plagiarism), and it's awkward. Please rewrite.
  • "military forces, medical teams and aid" - add comma after "teams"
  • "While the other plane was used to transport more than 16,000 kilograms (35,000 lb) of fuel and relief supplies including food, shelter and other emergency supplies" - this isn't a sentence. Get rid of the "while" and you'll be fine.
  • " €100 thousand" since it's less than a million, I'd say " €100,000"
  • "which was used for the local purchasing of food, including rice, preserved meat and fish, which was distributed to Anne's victims" - not written the best. I'd say "which was used to purchase local food, including rice, preserved meat, and fish, to be distributed to Anne's victims."
  • "US$1.2 million and 2 million" --> "US$1.2–2 million."
  • "while the South Pacific division of the Adventist Development and Relief Agency, sent AU$ 5000 to New Caledonia for relief efforts" - rm comma.
  • Get rid of the redundant link to Roy in the see also, since it was mentioned in the MH.

All in all pretty good. Lemme know if there are any questions! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:23, 28 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I've bolded what's left to be done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:22, 24 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

A Class reviews

So im thinking of taking this too FAC and would appreciate some comments on the article before it goes up. Thus i am launching an A Class Review.Jason Rees (talk) 14:24, 25 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

  • Still not a biggest fan of the opening sentence with regards to sourcing.
  • "Over the next few days the system gradually developed further as it was steered towards the southwest by an area of high pressure, before it was named Anne on January 8, after it had become a tropical cyclone" - timing is unclear/confusing. In general, don't use the "before" construction too much. It's just confusing.
  • Watch for duplicate linking in Preps/impact
  • You might have to check, but I don't think "and/or" should be in an article that's going up for FAC
  • When you describe the impact in the lead, I think you should be clearer when you're saying what country was affected. "Temotu Province, Vanuatu and New Caledonia" makes it seem like three different areas. Start with one area and go to the next, ideally chronologically.
  • "On January 5, 1988, the Fiji Meteorological Service's Nadi Tropical Cyclone Warning Center (TCWC Nadi)" - if I didn't know anything about tropical cyclones, I would stop reading this sentence at this point. It's way too much at the beginning of the MH. Please just use the FMS instead of the full name, and perhaps put in a note what the full office is.
  • "Anne had peaked, with estimated 10-minute peak " - redundancy

That's just the beginning part of the article. It couldn't hurt to get a copyeditor for the entire article if you're going for FAC still. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:17, 9 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Allikas: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Cyclone_Anne
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