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This review is transcluded from Talk:2009 Budweiser Shootout/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 22:30, 30 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

• On lap 25, a caution flag was given, as Carl Edwards became the leader beforehand. — This makes it sounds as if Edwards becoming the leader caused the caution.
  • Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

• (313.822 km) ... (301.752 km) ... 168.564 mph (271.277 km/h) — This is probably overly precise, and could be rounded to one or two decimal places.
  • Done up to two decimal places. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Temperatures up to 66.2 °F (19.0 °C); wind speeds up to 10.24 mph (16.48 km/h) — Do you know the lows as well? That is, could you say "temperatures from X to 66.2 ... wind speeds from xx to 10.24 ..."?
  • The range of the wind speeds do not exist in the citation attached to it. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Announcers Mike Joy, Darrell Waltrip, Larry McReynolds ... Nielsen Ratings 4.9/9 (Final) 4.1/7 (Overnight) — Worth mentioning in body? Just a thought.
  • I've mentioned the announcers in the race section and the final nielsen ratings in the post-race section. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Background

• the others are Michigan International Speedway, Auto Club Speedway, Indianapolis Motor Speedway, Pocono Raceway and Talladega Superspeedway. — Perhaps "Michigan International Speedway [in X], Auto Club Speedway [in Y]," etc.
  • Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Does the front stretch not count as a turn, given that it looks like a bend in the image? And why does it link to Straight (racing)?
  • This is called the tri-oval; NASCAR does not recognize it as an official turn. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• it was rebranded the Sprint Unlimited in 2013 — Since Budweiser Shootout now redirects to Advance Auto Parts Clash, has it been rebranded once again?
  • Have reworded and replaced the out-of-date existing reliable reference with an up-to-date reliable source. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• A total of 28 teams were eligible to compete — Does that mean 28 cars as well, or can teams have multiple cars?
  • No, just the drivers. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• In addition, each of the four manufacturers received one "wild card" berth for a car or driver not already qualified — In addition to the top points getters, or in addition to the 28 eligible teams?
• After the 10-minute pit stop, how did the race restart?
  • For one lap behind the pace car. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Practice and qualifying

• Two practice sessions were held before the race, which was on Friday afternoon — What day/time were they held? Also, seems like the "Friday afternoon" part could go in "Background".
  • Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Last sentence in the first paragraph needs work. It's grammatically unsound, but more importantly it seems like it's trying to do two things: give the order of the second qualifying round, and give the order of the entire qualifying draw. (I think you're missing Denny Hamlin.)
  • Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • Still doesn't work. First, it looks like you need a semicolon instead of a comma after Earnhardt. Second, you say those drivers rounded out the top ten, but only list nine.
      •  Done MWright96 (talk) 06:46, 3 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• chose their starting positions by a lot — Was any "choice" actually involved, or was it essentially just drawing numbers from a hat?
  • All drivers drew the positions of where they started. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• I had my eye on the bottle — What bottle?
  • Removed that part of the sentence entirely. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Race

• The 75-lap race began at 8:10 p.m. — So it was the practice sessions (see above) that were on Friday afternoon? The way that part is worded, it makes it seem as if the race was on Friday afternoon.
• Logano did the same for missing the mandatory pre-race drivers' meeting due to him participating in the track's ARCA Re/Max Series race. — Seems kind of harsh, any idea why they do that?
  • It is not stated why exactly so. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Menard held the lead going into the back stretch — of the first lap?
  • Yes, have clarified to say that. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• the top seven cars were in a single file with Earnhardt the first driver on the outside lane, and by the conclusion of the lap, side-by-side racing began. — Was Menard on the inside lane? If they were single file, why was there both an outside and an inside lane?
  • Reworded the entire sentence. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• were collected in the crash — Odd phrasing.
  • Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Kahne took the lead on the 27th lap, but Kyle Busch passed him for the position, but the latter had no assistance from Johnson, as Kahne regained the lead. — Confusing sentence.
  • Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • It now reads He held it until Kyle Busch passed him on the later. What does "on the later" mean?
• from another car to regain the lead — From what car?
  • Removed this sentence. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Jeff Gordon fell behind in the middle lane — What lap?
  • Clarified. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Edwards and Kyle Busch ran into the infield grass — Was this on the lap after the pit stop?
  • During the pit stops. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Kyle Busch led Earnhardt — Did he pass him coming out of pit lane?
  • Yes. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Earnhardt lost the draft after getting loose — What does it mean that he lost the draft? Why would he benefit from drafting if he was at the front?
  • Have fixed the structure of the sentence. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• Biffle was tagged by possibly Mears. — "tagged" is a bit jargoney. And why "possibly"?
  • It is not know for certain whether it was Mears who made contact with Biffle. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• sent him up the track. — What do you mean by "up the track"?
  • This is meant by sending the driver to the right. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• McMurray's sizable lead — How sizable?
  • It is not stated how much of a lead McMurray held at the time. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• bump drafting was observed — What's bump drafting? Also, you should probably say what happened, rather than what was observed.
  • Wikilinked and taken on your advice. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• event-breaking — You mean event-record?
  •  Done MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
• it bounced several times — What does this mean?
  • Reworded for clarity. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • Still not sure what "unsettled on the circuit" means.
      • Removed it to say simply that McMurray said he felt no loss of car control. MWright96 (talk) 06:46, 3 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Overall

• Looks good, MWright96. Comments are above; I still need to look at the images and references. --Usernameunique (talk) 22:30, 30 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Usernameunique: Have made edits to the article where appropriate. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • MWright96, just a few further comments above. Meanwhile, the images look good, though I would suggest adding alt text. --Usernameunique (talk) 21:24, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • @Usernameunique: Have added the alt text to the images. MWright96 (talk) 06:46, 3 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
        • @Usernameunique: Been one week. Any progress on the review? MWright96 (talk) 11:06, 10 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
          • Thanks for the reminder, MWright96. Did another brief read through, and am now promoting. One note about the references: You don't need the retrieval dates for archived links, since you already have the archival dates. --Usernameunique (talk) 18:58, 11 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]