GA Review
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Nominator: Bsoyka (talk · contribs) 22:08, 13 August 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:42, 19 October 2024 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
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Overall: |
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Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.
Solid and needing just some general polish. One question about a reference. Ping when done.
- @Sammi Brie: Thanks for taking the time to review! Responded to everything below. Bsoyka (t • c • g) 04:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
Copy changes
Lead
- The lead (once I reverted the puffery someone added) is rather short. One or two more sentences about featured exhibits, minimum, would really help.
- Added a sentence—let me know if more might be better. Bsoyka (t • c • g) 04:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
History
- Consider level-3 subheaders, maybe one for design and one for construction?
- Added. Bsoyka (t • c • g) 04:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
- Combine the "In September 2016" into the first paragraph so it is not a loner.
- Done. Bsoyka (t • c • g) 04:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
- Hyphenate "world-class".
- MOS:SEASONS try "early 2019" instead of "spring of 2019".
- Capitalize the T in T-shirt.
- All three above done. Bsoyka (t • c • g) 04:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
- maybe "El Paso Fire Department (EPFD)'s" instead of "El Paso Fire Department's (EPFD)"???
- I actually don't love either option, so I switched to "the response of the El Paso Fire Department (EPFD)" to avoid the acronym/possessive weirdness altogether. Bsoyka (t • c • g) 04:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
- with a ribbon-cutting ceremony at 10 a.m. followed by a public celebration until 4 p.m. Probably over-detail.
- Removed the time info. Bsoyka (t • c • g) 04:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
Sourcing and spot checks
- 3:
When the city pitched a children’s museum idea to voters in 2012, it estimated the $19 million price tag would mostly be used to build the facility and program some exhibits.
- 6:
The proposed El Paso Children's Museum received a $20 million boost from the city to ensure it offers a "world-class" educational experience, but at least one city representative believes even that won't be enough. The $20 million the city voted to issue in debt through certificate of obligation bonds combined with about $20 million in additional funding from a nonprofit partner, EPC Museum, boosts the total project budget to about $60 million. Voters approved $19.5 million in funding for the Children's Museum in 2012, as part of a $473 million quality of life bond package. The Children's Museum was one of three "signature" projects. The other two were a multipurpose arena and a Hispanic Cultural Center.
I don't think this goes to "This decision faced some criticism from the community", but it checks out the rest.- Sorry for my confusion, not sure I understand the issue here.
"This decision faced some criticism from the community"
isn't cited to ref 6 but rather to ref 10, which definitely covers community criticism. Bsoyka (t • c • g) 04:44, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
- Sorry for my confusion, not sure I understand the issue here.
- 12:
The team proposed a vaulted museum lifted of the ground, a design made to preserve public space and an interactive garden below.
- 16: Quote checks out.
- 20:
The name of the new museum was chosen from a long list of more than 600 submissions by El Pasoans, and it was announced at a ceremony at Aoy Elementary School.
- 22:
La Nube will open in early 2023.
Earwig mostly catches one long quote. but nothing else.
Images
The image is CC-BY-SA 4.0 licensed and permissible under the very limited scope of architectural copyright. The logo is appropriate fair use with NFUR.
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