GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


This review is transcluded from Talk:Jeanette Voerman/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Kung Fu Man (talk · contribs) 22:16, 25 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 22:42, 26 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·

Your largest task is reorganizing Critical reception to be thematically based and have subheaders. There are also copy changes that need doing. Ping me when addressed and I will copyedit Critical reception. Sammi Brie (she/her · t · c) 00:28, 27 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.

Copy changes

Lead

  • In game she is voiced by Grey DeLisle-Griffin, and on the box art and promotional artwork for the title portrayed by Erin Layne. This needs some punctuation. In-game, she is voiced by Grey DeLisle-Griffin, and on the box art and promotional artwork for the title, she is portrayed by Erin Layne.
  • Hyphenate "live-action" in "live-action media"
  • She is one of the two vampire co-Barons of Santa Monica, California and owner Change to She is one of the two vampire co-Barons of Santa Monica, California, and owner
  • Jeanette has been cited as one of the best aspects of Bloodlines, praised for both her character design and character, and introduction and portrayal helped set the tone of the game. Add "her" after ", and"

Conception

  • Not wanting to undermine the character Jeanette had become, he wrote another character, Velvet Velour, to satisfy their mandates, and placed her in the strip club Remove comma after "mandates"
  • Capitalize "Catholic"

Appearances

  • she will task them with destroy an art gallery exhibit "destroying"

Critical reception

  • This is a lot of paragraphs without level-3 subheaders.

Sourcing and spot checks

Reviewed: 1, 4, 7, 8, 24

No issues.

Images

Both images are from the game.

@Sammi Brie: I believe I have tackled all issues raised at the moment, let me know if there are any others to fix!--Kung Fu Man (talk) 16:00, 27 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Kung Fu Man We're doing okay, but Despite much of her dialogue appearing to be "a babble of egocentric nonsense", it tied well into her character being a Malkavian and served to be carefully juggled with her character in his eyes. is a word salad. Sammi Brie (she/her · t · c) 03:48, 28 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
@Sammi Brie: Should be fixed now, I sat down and heavily rewrote that paragraph to get the points across better. I'm not sure how that one got off kilter but hopefully is a lot better now.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 04:11, 28 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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