This review is transcluded from Talk:Kyu-Kurarin/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Nux-vomica 1007 (talk · contribs) 00:38, 29 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: LastJabberwocky (talk · contribs) 19:07, 13 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Nux-vomica 1007: Hi, it's been a while for your nomination. I can pick it up if you're ready? —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 19:07, 13 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for picking this up. It has indeed been some time since the nomination. In the meantime, the Japanese article (on which this article is based) has successfully passed its own GAN review. I've incorporated the improvements made there into the English version as well. Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 08:24, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Nux-vomica 1007: Big disclaimer: When I'll get confused by a sentence I'll use Google translate on the Korean article and give you my suggestion to make it less confusing. If my versions are factually incorrect, we will find a middle-ground between clarity and comprehensiveness. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your work, clising my review! —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 07:47, 16 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• The references titled in Japanese should be translated into English. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Done. --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• "namahoge"—this name written with a lowercase first letter even at the start of the sentence and in references. Is it necessary? —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Writers Namahoge and Flat, are stylized as namahoge and flat in the sources I cited respectively. But I wasn't sure whether it was necessary to preserve that stylization in the article text, so I’ve corrected them accordingly.--Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Are you sure [1] is reliable? If not this sentence ("Kyu-Kurarin" is set in the D-flat major with a vocal range of G#3-F5.) should be removed
• This Youtube link doesn't seem to be reliable. Isn't official Iyowa channel and isn't an interview (see WP:RSPYT). —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)  Done[reply]

• I've removed the descriptions that relied on these two sources. I've kept some of the sentences based on the second source, as it is cited in Namahoge 2024. (I'm not sure the source as a whole meets exceptions outlined at WP:RS#SPS.)--Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The rest of the sources doesn't any red flags. Wiki also has a brief list of particularly Japanese sources. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 13:57, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Kafu is a voice synthesizer package of CeVIO, released on July 7, 2021, as the "musical isotope" of the virtual singer Kaf. Can you clarify this sentence? Google Translated this sentence from the Korean wiki as: "Kafu is a synthetic voice package released on July 7, 2021 as a "musical isotope" of the virtual singer Kafu." —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would changed it into: The song "Kyu-Kurarin" incorporates a synthetic voice package named "Kafu", which was released on July 7, 2021 and based on the virtual singer Kaf. Shortly after the launch of the package, Japanese producer Iyowa released "Kyu-Kurarin". In a 2024 interview, he stated, "It felt like a child who just got a brand-new toy, wanting to try it out as soon as possible," and added, "I wanted to shape the initial genuine image I received from the voice in its freshest state." He also stated that the song was influenced by "Sotsu Omeshiki (そつおめしき)", a soundtrack of the game Taiko no Tatsujin. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Removing "musical isotope" since it's already mentioned on "CeVIO" page and it breaks the sentence's flow. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• I’ve adopted your suggestion. --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• he stated: "It felt like a child who just got a brand-new toy, wanting to try it out as soon as possible," and added, "I wanted to shape the initial genuine image I received from the voice in its freshest state." → he stated: "It's like the feeling of a child who has just received a new toy, wanting to get hold of it as soon as possible", and he got together to create something fresher out of Kafu's voice. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• In general outline I’ve adopted your suggestion. However, since the word fresh (新鮮な) in the source (quoted below) doesn’t refer to the track itself, but rather to the initial image the artist had of the voice, I’ve slightly modified your wording to reflect that nuance.--Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• The song was first released... → On 29 August 2021, Iyowa released the song on YouTube and Nico Nico Douga, and on 4 September released it on the music streaming service.

• I’ve adopted your suggestion. --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Genko from Eureka [ja].. → As his first impression, Genko from Eureka [ja] highlights the song's "grainy sound quality, like a meme image that has been incessantly reposted and irreversibly degraded to a 64kbps.mp3". —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• In general outline I’ve adopted your suggestion. Since Genko’s gender is unknown, I phrased it as “As a first impression” rather than using a gendered pronoun.--Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• "the excessive amount of information per unit of time, which is one of Iwona's characteristics. This one can be rephrased but I cannot come up with suggestions. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• The original text reads as follows. "The excessive amount of information per unit of time" is a direct translation of the Japanese phrase "単位時間あたりの情報量の過剰さ". What he is saying here is almost synonymous with “the song's sound is richly layered” in the previous passage, so it may be possible to remove this description without issue.--Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Shiori ni Fit suru Kado from Eureka also focuses on the "marimba and the peculiar, wavering chords played by the synthesizer," as well as "the reversed audio of these two sounds," noting that these elements create an effect that "evokes a sense of unease amidst cheerfulness." → Shiori ni Fit suru Kado from Eureka felt that the reversed audio both marimba and the wavering synthesizer chords create an effect that "evokes a sense of unease amidst cheerfulness". Reason: Some of the elements have been already mentioned (reversed audio, marimba/xylophone-type instrument); plus simplification. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• I’ve adopted your suggestion. --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• Flat also evaluates the song positively, highlighting how these "dissonant ornaments" are unified by "the catchy melody and powerful chord progression," maintaining "a sense of order as pop music." This one feels closer to reception than composition; it doesn't identify particular instrumental/vocal decisions that hasn't been already identified. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sugiyama appreciates the experimental sounds used in the song, such as the "hurly xylophone, dissonances, spacey synth, and reverse-audio-like effects," noting that they harmonize well with the lyrics. As with the previous sentence. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• I’ve moved these sentences to §Reception. --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

"imitate the moment when one is forcibly torn from a dream—a direct intervention into the story's time in a highly musicalized form". Can you double check this sentence? I don't really understand what the second half of the sentence wants to say. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 11:33, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• I've revised as follows: "Namahoge from Eureka thinks the drums imitate the sound of an alarm clock. He argues that the sound skilfully resets the "half-time progression with a sudden single beat of silence", concluding that these elements depicting "the moment when one is forcibly torn from a dream" intervene in the narrative time of the song." For reference, here is the original text: --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• The animation where she "falls from above and slides to the left, overlapping and forming a chain", is the most memorable scene in the video. Who specifically considers it memorable? —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 12:58, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• I’ve added an attribution. --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• "holding a slice of bread in her mouth.. Can be paraphrased for smoothness per WP:OQ. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 12:58, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]
• "as the song progresses and the same melody is repeated, kyu-kurarin... This one also can be paraphrased.

• I've simplified these descriptions. --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• the emptiness plaguing the girl, providing the pleasure of a riddle for the listener to solve. Yet, she also argues that the structure also creates a sense of emptiness in the curious gaze of "our delight in exposing it", and the song holds an "ironical attitude regarding the act of interpretation." → the emptiness plaguing the girl, which in turn creates a sense of emptiness in the gaze of the listener when noticing the irony between the two opposites. Reason: Simplifying; shortening bit about interpretation since every song can be delightful to expose and interpret differently. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr ) 12:58, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

• In my opinion, this may be an oversimplification of Kawano's perspective, but your interpretation itself is clearly correct, so I have adopted your suggestion.--Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

has exceeded the 68,000,000 views by October 2024.^[1] Currently, the archived link shows the page when it has 50M views. This has 80M. I would use this link and change the number; archived in May 2025. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 13:20, 14 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

•  Done. --Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 07:05, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The genres mentioned in the infobox (J-pop, Vocaloid music) should be duplicated in the composition (probably as a first sentence of the first paragraph). And cited in the composition section, not in the infobox. —LastJabberwocky (Rrarr) 13:57, 15 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

 Done. Nux-vomica 1007 (talk) 02:50, 16 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise, I think we're closing in. I checked for copyright violations and got a whopping zero percent (because it analyses English coverage). Y