This review is transcluded from Talk:Bhutan at the Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: History6042 (talk · contribs) 17:50, 27 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: It is a wonderful world (talk · contribs) 19:02, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Oh yes this is the best pledge ever! @DaniloDaysOfOurLives and I are working to review every single GA nomination in the television section. Could you pick two articles from there? If you are familiar with one of the tv shows nominated, it would be great if you could review that one, but of course pick any! IAWW (talk) 19:02, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I do not really watch television much so I don’t know, but I will pick two from that section, thank you for sharing your enthusiasm with my pledge. History6042😊 (Contact me) 19:08, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

By the way I am reviewing Tomorrow's Pioneers and Spore drive for the pledge. History6042😊 (Contact me) 19:13, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@It is a wonderful world, you by no means have to but if you would like I have the same pledge up for a different article. History6042😊 (Contact me) 19:33, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

If you're up for reviewing four TV articles I'm all for it... IAWW (talk) 19:40, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I can do that. History6042😊 (Contact me) 19:41, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I started a review over at the other Bhutan Olympic article :)

I started this review below. I requested a few somewhat big changes, so I'll pause the review here until they have been addressed. Otherwise I'll end up reviewing text which gets changed or removed! IAWW (talk) 19:50, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Just so you know a tornado warning just hit my area so I may not be able to respond for a bit. History6042😊 (Contact me) 19:59, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Oh no! Stay safe! IAWW (talk) 20:03, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. History6042😊 (Contact me) 20:06, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@It is a wonderful world,  Done, I added the best nd largest times they went and removed an accidentally duplicated paragraph. I also did the other ones. History6042😊 (Contact me) 20:32, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@It is a wonderful world, all new comments responded to. History6042😊 (Contact me) 13:31, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, @It is a wonderful world, I completed the review of spore drive, but in my review of Tomorrow's Pioneers the article seems to be overly pro-Israeli and does not accurately represent the Palestinian response, or that claims in the article are just claims according to the sources. Do you agree with this sentiment or have I overreacted? Also a ping to say that I am currently running IA Bot and that should clear up the rest of the archives and with that the rest of your comments. History6042😊 (Contact me) 13:31, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @History6042 I did take a quick look at that article per your request. Honestly though I don't feel able to assess the neutrality because I am so unaware of the prominence of each view in the literature. I'd strongly recommend you get a third opinion from an experienced editor who knows the literature. I suspect Remsense may be a good person to ask, to get a rough idea, and I think they could point you in the right direction if they don't know the literature enough themselves. IAWW (talk) 15:38, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thank ypu, @It is a wonderful world. History6042😊 (Contact me) 15:59, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@It is a wonderful world,  Done. History6042😊 (Contact me) 16:35, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Looking at the article it seems GA worthy now. Just one thing I noticed: note a needs a source. IAWW (talk) 13:59, 5 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@It is a wonderful world,  Done. History6042😊 (Contact me) 14:02, 5 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Happy with this. Passing IAWW (talk) 14:04, 5 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The second paragraph is almost a full repeat of the first! IAWW (talk) 19:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I would like to see information like their best performance ever, and their largest delegation ever sent in the lead. IAWW (talk) 19:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Note a: Cut "however, every other source disagrees. Therefore, the fact that the vast majority of sources state is used." We don't want to break the fourth wall like this. Also, "every other source disagrees" is original research. IAWW (talk) 19:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The BOC has affiliations with a total of 16 National Sports Federations: Add an "as of" to this potentially dated statement IAWW (talk) 12:56, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

These sections could do with "Main article: " hatnotes, like in Saint Kitts and Nevis at the Olympics IAWW (talk) 19:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Starting every section with "Bhutan sent a delegation to compete" or a variation of it is needlessly verbose. I think it would be fine to cut them, or you could very them up a bit like in Saint Kitts and Nevis at the Olympics. IAWW (talk) 19:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The delegation consisted of six athletes competing in one sport, archery: Conciseness IAWW (talk) 19:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Bhutan did not win any medals at LA: Unnecessary, since you mention later their best performance was 43rd in archery. This can also be removed in the similar following sections. IAWW (talk) 13:02, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Overall, in the archery events the best result: Since they only sent archers, this is obvious IAWW (talk) 13:02, 1 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

It was the nation's second consecutive appearance at the Summer Olympics since its debut: "Since its debut" implies it had two appearances after the first debut appearance. This can be fixed in all the following sections too. IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Archers can be linked to "Archery at the #### Summer Olympics" in this and following sections. IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

participated from 19 July to 4 August 1996: This is incorrect. They didn't participate in their events over this time. This was the time the whole Olympics ran through. IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good aside from earlier comments that apply to this section

Looks good aside from earlier comments that apply to this section

Looks good aside from earlier comments that apply to this section

I have a feeling the correct terminology is "universality places" instead of "wildcard" places in Olympic articles. None of the sources use the term "wildcard", and there exists an article Olympic quota allocation system which would be a better link. IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Lenchu exited the competition: Makes it sound like it was voluntary IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

archery, judo, shooting, and swimming: Can all be linked IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

"women's 10 m air rifle" can be linked IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

and "men's 100 metre freestyle" IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Karma was the first Bhutanese athlete not to qualify via an invitation: I think mention explicitly she qualified through meeting qualification standards IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Tenzin lost in the men's 100 m freestyle swimming event: "lost" isn't really the right terminology. You can't really "lose" a swimming race. Where did she place in her heat/finish overall? IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good (though see comments in "suggestions" at the bottom of this page)

Looks good :)

You can use Template:As of on "as of" statements. It adds them to a list people can check in the future to see that they are still accurate. IAWW (talk) 19:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

MOS:GEOCOMMA applies to place names in this article IAWW (talk) 19:48, 30 June 2025 (UTC)[reply]

You would benefit from making your writing more concise. See WP:REDEX for tips. IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Tables could do with rowscopes (MOS:DTAB) IAWW (talk) 16:20, 3 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]