Talk:Elaine DePrince

GA review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


This review is transcluded from Talk:Elaine DePrince/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Cielquiparle (talk · contribs) 05:04, 18 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: LEvalyn (talk · contribs) 19:48, 3 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]


I will take on this review! I typically prefer to make small changes myself if I think they won't be controversial, but of course you should feel free to change or discuss anything you don't consider an improvement. Looking forward to it! ~ L 🌸 (talk) 19:48, 3 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Well! It was a quick one! I just have one key request -- making sure the article is accurate about when her sons were diagnosed with AIDS -- and then the article will be good to go. Nice work! ~ L 🌸 (talk) 22:40, 3 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Comments

  • In terms of flow, I do think there's something odd/jarring about the fact that we enter a section called "Adoption of sons" and first learn about two non-adopted sons. What do you think about moving some of that information into the previous section, and renaming it "Early life and marriage"? ~ L 🌸 (talk) 22:40, 3 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Good solution. This has been fixed. Have also added better transitions. Cielquiparle (talk) 02:56, 7 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Added a photograph of Michaela DePrince. Cielquiparle (talk) 02:56, 7 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • The references list all looks reliable. I noticed a HuffPost article and they can often be unreliable, but in this instance it's an article by the Senior Arts & Culture Editor and clearly a well-researched piece.
  • For the source spot check, I looked at 3, 27, 36, 37, and 38 as numbered in this diff.
Confirmed that the date was May 1988. Embedded a link to the next page of the newspaper article in the footnote (click on the page number). Also added the page number and link to the relevant passage in Cry Bloody Murder. Cielquiparle (talk) 02:56, 7 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
    • I also made some bold edits around the Ballerina Dreams section because I felt the article wasn't as clear as it could have been that the two books were written simultaneously as part of the same book deal, but targeting different audiences. ~ L 🌸 (talk) 22:40, 3 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Excellent fix. Cielquiparle (talk) 02:56, 7 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Overall, the source spot-check did not turn up any concerns for copyvio/close paraphrase (and Earwig is fine). Despite the tweaks I decided to make (and the 1988 thing above which needs correction) I don't think there are pervasive source-text integrity problems and I am satisfied for the GA criteria. ~ L 🌸 (talk) 22:40, 3 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • As an optional note, the article makes a mention of her taking a leave from law school, but isn't fully clear on when she went to law school or if she ever graduated. It might also be nice to know what year she graduated from Rutgers. But the article is plenty "broad" without these details. ~ L 🌸 (talk) 22:40, 3 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
According to this blog post published by another hemophilia activist shortly before her death, DePrince was 51 when she started law school (probably in 1998). She did not finish law school, per this television segment on NBC. The exact sequence of events is a little murky so I think it's safer to keep it as is. Cielquiparle (talk) 02:56, 7 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for clarifying, I agree it’s best to leave it as is. ~ L 🌸 (talk) 03:38, 7 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Response

Thank you for the thorough and thoughtful review. The article is definitely better for it. Cielquiparle (talk) 02:56, 7 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]

And thanks for your revisions! My main concern about that year has been addressed, and the other changes are great improvements too. I'm happy to pass this article! ~ L 🌸 (talk) 04:27, 7 October 2025 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.